KNEE DEEP IN THE WINDOWS HOOPLA

Microsoft has released Windows Vista, their latest attempt to mimic the current MAC OS, and I couldn't be more excited. And no, not because I love that "new operating system smell", it's because Jefferson Starship is helping Microsoft launch Vista. How you ask? By donating a song? Nope, by performing on a flatbed truck in L.A., San Francisco, Austin and New Orleans, presumably the only cities proven to have been built on rock and roll. To this news, I can only respond with a hearty "WTF?"

Over a decade ago Bill tried (and failed) to buy R.E.M.'s "It's The End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" for Microsoft's Windows95 commercials, and instead threw wads of cash at perpetual moneywhores The Rolling Stones to use "Start Me Up". But this is an incredibly odd choice--was Styx not available? I don't even know who is even in the band anymore (certainly not Grace Slick, the only one I can remember). I can picture Bill Gates coming up with this brilliant idea while in his Monty Burns-like giant airplane hangar sized office, watching a bootlegged copy of the "Star Wars Holiday Special" during the holidays (on a computer using Windows Media Player, naturally):

Bill: Who are those young go-getters? I like the cut of their jib!
Smithers: Uhm, that's the rock band Jefferson Starship, sir.
Bill: Why, those young space-age scamps would be perfect entertainment for our new Vista operating system! If they're good enough for Star Wars, they're good enough for me! Just think of the merchandising--the kids will eat it up. Get Darth Vader on the telephone.
Smithers: But sir, that special was filmed in 1978 and I don't think . . .
Bill: Pish posh! Get them now, and I don't care how much money it takes! Oh, and make sure we sent Lucas one of those "Happy Life Day" cards. *Blasted spineless liberals.*

(I assume he has a Smithersesque toady that works for him.)