RETROCRUSH TOP 100 WORST COVER SONGS

This is a great list: Retrocrush Top 100 Worst Cover Songs. As of today they're up to #13 and they update it frequently.
Some good ones so far:

#85 "These Boots Were Made For Walkin'" by Jessica Simpson
Even if she changed the lyrics to "These Jugs Were Made For Suckin'" it'd still be hard to listen to.

#69 "We Will Rock You" by 5ive
For starters, I hate 5ive for using a "5" instead of an "F" in the first letter of their band's name. It's pretty 5ucking 5oolish. This cover of the Queen classic may have band members from Queen in it, but once the boy band tough guy "vocals" kick in, you just start praying for a zombie Freddie Mercury to take the stage and eat all of their brains (which admittedly wouldn't be much to snack on).

#49 "More Than This" by 10,000 Maniacs
Swapping Merchant with Mary Ramsey is like losing Al Pacino in your movie and getting Screech to take his place.

#45 "Another Brick in the Wall" by Korn
You know, Pink Floyd seemed smart enough to say, "We don't need no education" with some authority, Korn...not so much.

UPDATE: Well, it's all over but the crying. I agree with some of their later additions, including #18 "Love Song" by 311, #16 "Chop Suey!" by Avril Lavigne ("the musical equivalent of your girlfriend yelling at you on the phone for an hour"), and #12 "911 Is A Joke" by Duran Duran (that whole covers CD was torture).

Here are their Top 10:

#10 "Piece of My Heart" by Faith Hill
#9 "Downtown Train" by Rod Stewart
#8 "The Greatest Love of All" by Kevin Rowland
#7 "Ring of Fire" by Olivia Newton John
#6 "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" by Ol' Dirty Bastard and Macy Gray
#5 "American Pie" by Madonna
#4 "Behind Blue Eyes" by Limp Bizkit
#3 "Stairway to Heaven" by Dolly Parton
#2 "Every Breath You Take" by Puff Daddy
#1 "Layla (Unplugged)" by Eric Clapton

Yes, I agree with many of these, especially #9 "Downtown Train" by Rod Stewart ("I'm sure Waits had said that he would have never even recorded this had he known that Rod was going to wipe his ass with it like this"), and certainly the talentless hack Puff Daddily Diddly, who makes Madonna look like Mozart.

I would have also added: "Love Will Tear Us Apart" by Paul Young (Joy Division), "'Heroes'" by The Wallflowers (David Bowie), "American Woman" by Lenny Kravitz (The Guess Who), "Under Pressure" by My Chemical Romance (Queen/Bowie), "Comfortably Numb" by Scissor Sisters (Pink Floyd). Ugh.

I don't agree with #1, however. Isn't a cover song technically done by someone other than the original artist? (They have two of these in the top 13; the new version of "Candle in the Wind" is just as shitty as the first). Yes, Slowhand's unplugged version ripped the balls off of the song, making it no longer "a song to steal George Harrison's wife with", but he was trying a different interpretation of it (like every 'unplugged' album did at the time). Sure, it made you forget how great the original was (When that piano kicks in at the end? That's hard to beat). And while it was a novelty the first time you heard it, and after the 40,000th time it was just a gimmick, it's not the worst cover song ever.

Of course, the big question is: why isn't Bill Shatner on here? Did these kids not get the memo that his "Transformed Man" album was actually intended as a serious work of art? It may seem hard to fathom but it was NOT a novelty record, and he was NOT in on the joke back then, like he is now. He was 100% dead serious about that album, reading poetry and reciting popular rock lyrics like he was some sort of renaissance man, and it was 100% incredibly bad.

Therefore, I am removing Clapton and replacing him with William Shatner "Mr. Tamborine Man" at #1. Done.

Here's a funny parody video of the above song:


SEE ALSO: Kirk & Spock: Their Celestial Musical Fantasy