RANDOM DUMPAGE

All I've got is a borrowed acoustic guitar, 5 chords and the truth. Of my many regrets, I wish I could read music. I guess you don't have to be able to do that to be a rock star, but it would be nice. I also want to get one of those home recording studio programs, but everyone says I'd need a $3000 Mac to do it.

Björk should make a punk rock album, I would love to hear that. Not the angular, quirky pop of The Sugarcubes, I'm talking full-bore punk shit. She wouldn't do it because it's too obvious and conventional, but I'm just saying that I wouldn't mind hearing that, or maybe an upbeat rock record with The Fratellis. You know, a kind of a bizarro Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Does she still have a house in Piermont? Because she doesn't hang out in the Nyack bars so I'll probably never bump into her. Anyway, she will be the musical guest (with host Scarlett Johansson) on SNL on April 24, so I'll have to tune into that.

The Sopranos sucked on Sunday. It's a shame to see such a quality show hit the shitter like this. Moreover, the music used to be a highlight of the show, and even that has fallen off. The best we got was Carmela (Edie Falco) singing a karaoke version of "Love Hurts". Blech.

There were a lot of decent bands to come out of Madchester, England in the late 80s/early 90s, but Happy Mondays wasn't one of them. That stupid "Kinky Afro" song makes me cringe everytime I hear it. God, I hate Happy Mondays.

Modest Mouse has initiated their own green screen challenge; Stephen Colbert could not be reached for comment. Does anyone think those Tek Jensen cartoons are funny? Because I don't.

Nothing will get me out of a store faster than 1) long lines at the checkout, or 2) horrible music on the PA system. Normally, I like shopping at Trader Joe's but not when they're plyaing Ray Parker, Jr's "The Other Woman". Ugh! I wouldn't have minded "Ghostbusters" at that point. Let me tell you something: busting makes me feel good!

Spoon is playing at Stone Pony on the 24th, and I've decided I'm going to go. It's a bit of a hike since I don't live 'down the shore' anymore, but I love Britt Daniels & Co. enough to make it worth it. They are also releasing a new album this summer called "Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga" (best title since "De Do Do Do De Da Da Da") so we'll get to hear some new stuff as well. I haven't been down there since Soul Coughing (who we missed) opened for Morphine.

(Side note: Will Ferrell's last few movies have really stunk, but at least he his characters' names are funny: Ron Burgundy, Ricky Bobby, Chazz Michael Michaels. I guess they forgot to write a script after coming up with a funny name. I might have to see that "Stranger Than Fiction" on DVD, just because Spoon was involved with the soundtrack.)