JEFF BUCKLEY: TEN YEARS LATER

It was 10 years ago today (May 29, 1997) that Jeff Buckley drowned in the Mississippi River at age 30. It's one of those things that I remember where I was when I heard the sad news (driving past the Danbury Fair Mall after work). Though he only released one proper studio album, Grace, it left a lasting legacy. Since then, a plethora of posthumous collections have been released (in fact, another collection was released last week--seriously, this has to stop), but they are only the tip of the iceberg, and constantly underline the fact that he will never release that long-awaited follow-up.

He was a brilliant singer/songwriter whose love of music was vast and whose future possibilities seemed limitless. I first remember seeing his video for "Grace" on MTV at around 2 AM, after the 120 Minutes program was finished with their typical lineup of grunge and new wave bands. After soaking it in I recall saying to a friend, "What the hell is he doing on that show?" His incredible vocal delivery and intensity made him stand apart from everything else--hearing him was like a slap in the face. I bought the album and immediately was taken by his talent and versatility. I think the lyrics to Grace were the first ones I ever looked up and printed out on the internet's new fangled "world wide web" (on my IBM clone 386-40).

I was also lucky enough to see him play twice on the "Mystery White Boy Tour" in the summer of 1995, the first time opening for Juliana Hatfield at the Trocadero in Philly. He was a consummate showman, witty and endearing, and he had the crowd (mostly the girls) eating from the palm of his hand. The second time I saw him at Tradewinds in Sea Bright, NJ. Before the show he was sitting out in the deck area with his band; we were too chicken shit to go talk to him, but we watched him order tea with honey and lemon while he smoked. Most of all we were amazed that such a powerful voice could come out of such a scrawny body. There will never be another artist like him, period. He will most definitely be missed.



Check out one of my favorite music blogs I Am Fuel, You Are Friends awesome JB tribute as well.

Jeff Buckley - Lover, You Should Have Come Over (Live @ Metro in Chicago, 1995) [YouTube]

BLUE MONDAY: NEW ORDER 1981 - 2007

New Order have split up after 27 years of making music. No, really, I think they're serious this time. A "Blue Monday", indeed. (Yeah, I wrote that joke all by myself.)

I honestly haven't heard much of anything they've put out since "Republic" in 1993, but I sure did listen to them a whole lot in high school and college. Their double CD collection "Substance" (1987) remains a must-own.

I project their reunion show at Coachella in 2013.

VIDEO DUMP: BEIRUT "ELEPHANT GUN"

Great video, for the song from the "Lon Gisland" EP by Beirut (which is just 20 year old singer/songwriter Zach Condon, really).

Beirut - Elephant Gun

REUNION MANIA!

This week's "huh?" reunion goes to Squeeze. The early 80s band are best known for quirky pop tunes like "Pulling Mussels (From The Shell)", "Hourglass" and "Black Coffee In Bed". The group's singing/songwriting team of Chris Difford and Glenn Tillbrook have buried the hatchet and are doing some shows together for the first time since 1999. Why, you might ask? To sell their brand new (old) rereleased back catalog! At least they're not dishonest about their motivations. No word on the rest of the lineup, which has featured Paul Carrack (the other singer, on "Tempted") and Jools Holland during its various incarnations. I saw them open for Bowie back in 1987 and they were an infectiously fun band in concert. Their first show stateside is in Londonderry, NH, of all places.

In other news, Spinal Tap are "reuniting" for a London show called Live Earth (to benefit the earth, I guess). This reunion should also garner a "what?", except for the fact that they HAVE to appear as Spinal Tap at least once every 5 years or so to keep them alive, since they don't own the rights to the band (French company Loreal actually does, for some reason). Also appearing at the 7/7/07 show at Wembley: Genesis, James Blunt, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Snow Patrol, Bloc Party, Duran Duran, and Mrs. Guy Ritchie.

There's also a Giants Stadium show, which includes The Police, The Smashing Pumpkins, Alicia Keys, Kelly Clarkson, KT Tunstall, Fall Out Boy, Roger Waters, Kanye West and Bon Jovi --why do we get the suckiest lineup? I blame fucking American Idol. At least "The Simpsons" parody was mildly funny. The best part of the Jack Black clip (below) is Kyle Gass' reaction shots with the white rose.

SPOON @ THE STONE PONY, ASBURY PARK, NJ, APRIL 24, 2007

I don't know why Spoon aren't bigger than they are. When I say that, people make faces and don't seem to understand. No, I'm not having trouble eating my cereal, and I'm not quoting "The Tick". I'm talking about the indie rock band from Austin, TX who just played an awesome show last night at the Stone Pony. Yes, the same place (more or less) that the Boss made famous decades ago--I didn't know it was still around either. I'd seen exactly two shows there in my lifetime: Morphine/Soul Coughing and Hole (back in 1995 and 1994, I think).

When we arrived at Asbury Park, I was amazed on how the area hasn't changed much in the 12 years that have passed; that is to say, despite all the claims of the area's "revitilazation", it still looks like a total shithole. Although they built some new condos, there are still a lot of of the old (now-abandoned) buildings everywhere. We parked on a makeshift dirt median (I assume this is part of the "beautification" project) and entered just as the opening band was going on, and although the crowd was initially sparse it filled in rather quickly. I was a little leary of the fact that is was an "all-ages" show, but it ended up being an excellent, enthusiastic crowd, and not packed with annoying scenesters like your average NYC show. I'm also glad I saw them here because no matter where you are in the Pony you're close to the stage.

I last saw Britt Daniels & Co. back in 2003 in support of their "Kill The Moonlight" album, and they once again sounded fantastic. Many songs from the aforementioned album were featured ("Stay Don't Go", "Paper Tiger", "Someone Something", "The Way We Get By", and "Small Stakes" which really rocks live--it's amazing what a simple backbeat can do). This time around I got to hear a number of "Gimme Fiction" songs ("Two Sides/Monsieur Valentine", "The Beast and Dragon Adored", "Stay Don't Go", "I Turn My Camera On", "My Mathematical Mind", "I Summon You", "They Never Got You"), and a healthy dose of songs from "Girls Can Tell" made the cut ("Fitted Shirt", "Lines in the Suit", "Me and the Bean", "Anything You Want"). They also played about 4 new songs from their new album "Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga" (out 7/10) which were good; "Don't Make Me A Target" is the only title I could figure out. At one point, he said this was their first show in New Jersey--before being corrected by a band member that they had been at Maxwell's in Hoboken already, but the crowd gave him a pass. For the encore, they played my pick "Everything Hits At Once", and Joe's pick "Jonathon Fisk" closed the show.

For their straightforward, enjoyable songwriting and accessible rock sound, Spoon should be bigger than they are. But at the same time I'm kind of glad they aren't.

UPDATE: I added some pictures taken with my cell phone (the Samsung A930) and no, they're not that great (had I known security was going to be virtually non-existent I would have brought a proper camera). It's funny how the cell phone has replaced the lighter at concerts now, and for the first time I was actually envious of kids who had better camera phones than me. Anyway, once I learned how to use the zoom feature I got some okay shots. I don't know why the thought of Britt wearing the "I am old enough to drink" bracelet during the entire show cracks me up.

(Although I have Bitpim and a USB data cable I still haven't figured out how to access my videos--gah!)

RANDOM DUMPAGE

All I've got is a borrowed acoustic guitar, 5 chords and the truth. Of my many regrets, I wish I could read music. I guess you don't have to be able to do that to be a rock star, but it would be nice. I also want to get one of those home recording studio programs, but everyone says I'd need a $3000 Mac to do it.

Björk should make a punk rock album, I would love to hear that. Not the angular, quirky pop of The Sugarcubes, I'm talking full-bore punk shit. She wouldn't do it because it's too obvious and conventional, but I'm just saying that I wouldn't mind hearing that, or maybe an upbeat rock record with The Fratellis. You know, a kind of a bizarro Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Does she still have a house in Piermont? Because she doesn't hang out in the Nyack bars so I'll probably never bump into her. Anyway, she will be the musical guest (with host Scarlett Johansson) on SNL on April 24, so I'll have to tune into that.

The Sopranos sucked on Sunday. It's a shame to see such a quality show hit the shitter like this. Moreover, the music used to be a highlight of the show, and even that has fallen off. The best we got was Carmela (Edie Falco) singing a karaoke version of "Love Hurts". Blech.

There were a lot of decent bands to come out of Madchester, England in the late 80s/early 90s, but Happy Mondays wasn't one of them. That stupid "Kinky Afro" song makes me cringe everytime I hear it. God, I hate Happy Mondays.

Modest Mouse has initiated their own green screen challenge; Stephen Colbert could not be reached for comment. Does anyone think those Tek Jensen cartoons are funny? Because I don't.

Nothing will get me out of a store faster than 1) long lines at the checkout, or 2) horrible music on the PA system. Normally, I like shopping at Trader Joe's but not when they're plyaing Ray Parker, Jr's "The Other Woman". Ugh! I wouldn't have minded "Ghostbusters" at that point. Let me tell you something: busting makes me feel good!

Spoon is playing at Stone Pony on the 24th, and I've decided I'm going to go. It's a bit of a hike since I don't live 'down the shore' anymore, but I love Britt Daniels & Co. enough to make it worth it. They are also releasing a new album this summer called "Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga" (best title since "De Do Do Do De Da Da Da") so we'll get to hear some new stuff as well. I haven't been down there since Soul Coughing (who we missed) opened for Morphine.

(Side note: Will Ferrell's last few movies have really stunk, but at least he his characters' names are funny: Ron Burgundy, Ricky Bobby, Chazz Michael Michaels. I guess they forgot to write a script after coming up with a funny name. I might have to see that "Stranger Than Fiction" on DVD, just because Spoon was involved with the soundtrack.)

VIDEO DUMP: FEARGAL SHARKEY "YOU LITTLE THIEF" (1986)

Classic 80s cheese. I think the comment by GoToHell22 says it all: "Great video . . . or GREATEST video?"

VIDEO DUMP: ALANIS MORRISETTE 'MY HUMPS'

Alanis asks the musical question first posited by Fergie: "Whatcha gonna do with all that ass inside them jeans?" This cover version is reminiscent of Tori Amos' "Smells Like Teen Spirit" back in 1992, only this is hilarious.



Damn, those Canadians are funny.

Alanis Morrisette "My Humps" [YouTube]

KWIK-E BLOG

It's the MUSIC DUMP version of KWIK-E BLOG: little things that I felt like saying that don't really deserve their own entry.

List of indie bands that are popular that I just "don't get": Arcade Fire, Of Montreal, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, LCD Soundsystem, Mew, The Knife, and Sufjan Fucking Stevens. They're all incredibly whiny and just ANNOY ME. I had to get that off my chest.

I hate when people say, "Oh, The Cars are nothing without Rick Ocasek, their lead singer." While this sentence is partly true, The Cars are also not the same without Ben Orr. Most people think he only sang the hit song "Drive", but he took the wheel for more songs than you might realize. For instance, the song "Just What I Needed", that we get to hear every 15 seconds on commercials for Circuit City, was sung by him, as well as "Let's Go", "Bye Bye Love", "Candy-O" and "Moving In Stereo". So yes, Rick Ocasek sang a lot of the later MTV friendly hits, but The Cars could easily perform those songs without him . . . well, if Ben Orr didn't die in 2000.

I used to anticipate Radiohead album releases. But at this point they've been working on this new album for 4 years or so, and I couldn't give a flying crap if they finish it or not. If they break up I could care less. Ugh. They've really turned into a disappointing ego-trip-laden mess.

Did any band flame out quicker than The Strokes? Great first album, incredibly short and forgettable 2nd, almost swept under the rug 3rd album with little reason to recommend it. Nice knowin' ya!

It's irritating to see The Jam are selling Cadillacs with their classic song "Start!" Ugh.

I want to go see Robyn Hitchcock in concert at the Knitting Factory. Since I can't find anyone who likes him, I might be going alone.

I caved in and bought tickets to see The Police, July 31st in Hartford. More on that later.

ROCK THE VOTE: MARCH BAND MADNESS!

It's March and of course it's time to choose your brackets . . . FOR BAND MADNESS! (Not marching band madness.)

A huge-ass bracket featuring 512 musical acts (placed in 4 brackets of 128) are matched up head-to-head until only one remains: THE BEST BAND EVER. Or something. Previous winners Nine Inch Nails are not in the running to make it more interesting. Brackets A and B are done, but Brackets C is up now and D is up tomorrow.

To get a taste of it, here's what last year's bracket looked like. I love the artist profiles, that breakdown how they did in the 2006 tournament:

Modest Mouse
2006 Tournament Results:
R1: Defeated Chicago (60%)
R2: Lost to Blue Oyster Cült (52%)

I guess Modest Mouse should have used a little more cowbell (I'm going to guess I'm not the first to make that joke).

John Lennon
2006 Tournament Results:
R1: Defeated Motley Crüe (80%)
R2: Defeated Garth Brooks (84%)
R3: Defeated Talking Heads (52%)
R4: Defeated Beach Boys (59%)
R5: Defeated Beck (63%)
Sweet Sixteen: Defeated The Who (51%)
Elite Eight: Lost to Johnny Cash

The Cure
2006 Tournament Results:
R1: Defeated Wilson Phillips (94%)
R2: Defeated Steve Miller Band (59%)
R3: Defeated John Mellencamp (85%)
R4: Defeated Paul McCartney (61%)
R5: Defeated Sublime (74%)
Sweet Sixteen: Defeated Rolling Stones (55%)
Elite Eight: Lost to Depeche Mode (58%)

Depeche Mode in the Final Four, and The Cure in the Elite Eight? Wow. Who knew?

2006 FINAL FOUR: Pink Floyd beat Johnny Cash, NIN beat Depeche Mode
FINAL: NIN beat Pink Floyd

As for the 2007 bracket, here's my Bracket C Breakdown.

The 1/16 matchups (the underdog doesn't stand a chance):
Johnny Cash (95%) vs. Village People, Led Zeppelin (92%) vs. Evanescence, U2 (92%) vs. Shania Twain, Metallica (91%) vs. Creed, The Who (91%) vs. Seal.
Ha ha, Seal! The only votes he got were for screwing Heidi Klum.

Surprisingly close matchups:
Jesus and Mary Chain (51%) vs. Incubus (49%). Please, J&MC beats any rock band with a "turntableist".
The Replacements (51%) over ABBA (49%). "Waitress in the Sky" vs. "Dancing Queen"? This should not be this close!
Queens of the Stone Age (53%) vs. Bob Seger (47%). Someone shoot Seger with a silver bullet. I guess everyone forgets those goddamn "Like a Rock" commercials now that "This Is Ouuuuuuuuuur Country".

Surprising upsets:
Robert Palmer (74%) vs. 50 Cent (26%). Wow. I think a lot of (caucasian) rockers are voting on this thing.

The 8/9 matchups (the ones I had the most trouble with):
Frank Zappa (65%) vs. The Cult (35%). I like the idea of Frank more than listening to him; there's only so much you can take at once. But The Cult is one of the most underrated rock bands of the 80s.
Beck (80%) vs. Psychedelic Furs (20%). I didn't think this would be so lopsided
Aerosmith (81%) vs. Toto (19%). That's a real headscratcher. I guess Toto sucks less. (?)

Ones I have to disagree with:
Rancid (58%) vs. Barry Manilow (42%). Somehow Rancid is winning this one, but Barry was on Colbert Report so he gets my vote.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs (62%) vs. Spoon (38%). YYY just isn't that great; Spoon is the shit.

It's hard to read this bracket to get a feel for whom will meet whom or The Who in the final 64, but it's definitely been anti-country so far, so I will be following it closely. I guess we'll wait and see. The irony: Madness is not in it.

GO ROCK THE VOTE . . . LITERALLY!

JOHN MEYER: EXPLAINING THE MEANING OF "YOUR BODY'S A WONDERLAND"

Hi, my name is John Meyer and I'm a popular singer/songwriter. I released my first solo album Room for Squares back in 2001 when I was only 24, and it was incredibly well received. You probably remember one of the songs from that album, "Your Body's a Wonderland". If you were a young female fan of mine back then, this was probably your favorite song. A lot of the girls in the audience used to sing the song back to me, and I really appreciated it. I suppose you imagined that I was singing the song about you. In fact, you might have even fantasized a little, and thought about what it would be like to discover me discovering you in that room for two. You may have even dreamt about me using my hands, which are admittedly kind of rough and covered with calluses from playing the guitar all the time. But some of you were really into this song, and it was all very flattering.

I just feel that I should clear the air, as this has been on my mind since I started playing it at every one of my shows. I think it's time I told you the truth about this song: IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. It's about Jessica Simpson.

That's right. Look, I don't mean to be a dick, but when I wrote this song I really wasn't picturing all the pudgy teenage girls, frumpy housewives, and pale skinny chicks that came to my shows. And although I appreciate you, my most ardent fans, I definitely wasn't writing about swimming in a deep sea of blankets with you. When I sing about 'candy lips and a bubblegum tongue', it's probably pretty obvious I'm talking about a Top 99 Hottest Women type. No offense, but that's what I was picturing, and I'm not going to apologize for it.

Let's face it, I'm a big multiple Grammy® Award winning rock star now. I worked hard at my craft to get to where I am, and my idea of success isn't slumming with some porcelain faced groupie who lives with 10 cats and cries at rock concerts. It's about tagging the hottest piece of ass I can find. And if I'm going to drop $500 on dinner at NOBU, I'm definitely not going with some fat chick; I'm going to have a world class babe on my arm when the paparazzi snap away.

I hope you understand where I'm coming from, and I hope you're not mad at me. Although I think you're a beautiful person and all that, it's not specifically your body that is a wonderland. I hope we can still be friends. My newest album Continuum is available on CD and at iTunes.



Love,
John

GREG PATILLO "MARIO FLUTE"

I guess this qualifies as music: a beatboxing flute player. Yeah, I never thought I'd type that phrase either. Here's Greg Patillo playing "Mario Flute", his rendition of the various music from the classic NES Super Mario Bros. video game. Excellent!



He also does "Inspector Gadget" and "Sesame Street". Pretty amazing.

"WEIRD" AL YANKOVIC - BOB

This is nothing short of brilliant. The lyrics of this 'Weird' Al song are made up entirely of palindromes, and the video is a parody of Bob Dylan's classic "Subterranean Homesick Blues" (from D.A. Pennebaker's Don't Look Back). Hilarious.

A FISTFUL OF FESTIVALS

Here's the real 2007 Bonnaroo artist lineup (partial):

The Police • Tool • Widespread Panic • The White Stripes • Ben Harper & the Innocent Criminals • Wilco • The Flaming Lips • MANU CHAO Radio Bemba Sound System • The String Cheese Incident • Franz Ferdinand • Bob Weir & Ratdog • Damien Rice • Ween • Gov't Mule • Ziggy Marley • The Decemberists • Kings of Leon • Michael Franti and Spearhead • Wolfmother • Regina Spektor • The Black Keys • Galactic • DJ Shadow • Gillian Welch • Spoon • Keller Williams (WMD'S) • Sasha & John Digweed • STS9 • Old Crow Medicine Show • The Hold Steady • Lily Allen • North Mississippi Allstars • Fountains Of Wayne • Hot Tuna • Feist • Hot Chip • The Richard Thompson Band • Cold War Kids • Girl Talk • Rodrigo y Gabriela • Annuals • The National • The Little Ones • Black Angels • Lewis Black & Friends • Dave Attell • David Cross

Alas, no Tom Waits and no Dylan--I knew the "rumored" list was bullshit. The only ones they got right were The Police, Lily Allen, Fountains of Wayne, Girl Talk, Annuals, Cold War Kids, The Decemberists, and a couple of minor bands. But they added Wilco, Flaming Lips, Tool, White Stripes, Spoon, The Black Keys, Manu Chao, Damien Rice, and Richard Thompson (not to mention the comedy of David Cross, Lewis Black and Dave Attell). So it's pretty damn interesting as it is. Wait a sec--HOT TUNA? Aren't they 500 years old?

Sasquatch Music Festival is way the fuck up in the Northwest, and features Björk, Beastie Boys, Interpol, Arcade Fire, Spoon, among others. It's 2718 miles from my apartment, in George, Washington. Get it? George Washington? Crafty, those Washingtonians.

In support of their 6th album Zeitgeist(to be released 07.07.07, a neat number and also my mom's birthday) Smashing Pumpkins will also be doing the festival thing, though only in Europe so far. And no, it's not a reunion. People are even nitpicking and saying "it's not really SP without D'Arcy and Iha", but I liken it to The Cure, who can be Robert Smith and anyone and still be The Cure.

Definitely not a reunion: The Jam will be touring . . . without Paul Weller. Huh? Okay, that would be like seeing The Cure without Robert Smith.

As always, these festivals never happen in the Northeast. Grrr.

F***! THE POLICE ON THE GRAMMYS

"Hello, we're the Police and we're back!" And so began the Grammy Awards last night, as the reformed trio sang "Roxanne" (which was a good bet). While it was a competent rendition, it wasn't really that exciting, though it was thankfully 100% lute free. Some people commented that he can't hit the high notes in the chorus, but he didn't attempt those in 1979 either--I think he only did that the one time in the studio, actually. I was actually focusing on how the 3 of them looked (in HD), and despite Stewart Copeland's old man glasses they looked pretty much intact. But as soon as Jamie Foxx came on after the song ended, I quickly switched to "The Simpsons", and I was done watching (8:00 - 8:05). So it's official: I can no longer say I saw their last public performance in person. Oh well.

Only two other notes I have about the Grammy winners:

1) St. Elsewhere by Gnarls Barkley won Best Alternative Album. Alternative to what? How is something alternative when it's on every radio station? They were quite possibly the biggest crossover band of the year, so they were as non-alternative as you could get. I would have given it to the Arctic Monkeys.

2) Two words: "My Humps". Yes, that shitty song by Black Eyed Peas won an award, beating Death Cab for Cutie, The Fray, and Keane for Best Song by Duo or Group. Given the choices, I would have even allowed Pussycat Dolls to win that. Are you fucking kidding me?

And with that, the Grammys can go screw themselves. I was quite happy in a world that loathed the Dixie Chicks. What a nightmare the recording industry has become.

POLICE FORCE STING TO DROP LUTE; REUNION WILL RAKE IN LOOT

You might have heard that the other two members of The Police are holding an intervention at the Grammy Awards on 2/11/07, making Sting drop the lute and forcing him to play good music. I almost thought about tuning in this year because of this to wonder how they'll sound. I bet they're going to play "Be My Girl - Sally". Or maybe a medley featuring "Synchronicty II", "Man in a Suitcase" and "Don't Stand So Close To Me '07 (featuring Xhibit and Fergie)".

Everyone is assuming a World Tour is to follow, or at the very least a few festival dates. For all of this to happen I think Stewart Copeland must have compromising photos of Sting that he's using to blackmail him. Whatever the case may be, here are some things you probably didn't know about The Police:

• Sting was born Gorbley Fantastico McSwiggan, which was changed to Gordon Sumner III before he finally switched to his nickname.

• Guitarist Andy Summers is deaf. (I mean, have you heard the guitar solo during "Driven To Tears"? Yikes.)

• Because of religious reasons, Stewart Copeland refuses to play the drums before dusk.

• Sting stole his nickname from the famous WCW wrestler Steve Borden.

• During their 1982 Synchronicity Tour, the band had a "rider" that demanded that they be provided with freshly caught haddock, 12 cans of spotted dick, lawn darts, a frisbee, and an accordion tuner at every show.

• Stewart Copeland once ordered a ham sandwich in Texas, and returned it because it had mustard on it instead of the mayonnaise that he clearly ordered. The sandwich was given to him at no charge.

• The song "Man In A Suitcase" was written about a man who was found dead in a suitcase attempting to sneak on board their tour plane.

• Andy Summers' favorite season is spring.

• Stewart Copeland's drumsticks are whittled from the bones of African cheetahs.

• "Tea In The Sahara" is based on a children's book by W. Somerset Maugham entitled "Everybody Poops".

• Sting practices "tantric sex", which allows him to watch pornography for up to 8 hours at a time without sleeping or ordering pizza.

KNEE DEEP IN THE WINDOWS HOOPLA

Microsoft has released Windows Vista, their latest attempt to mimic the current MAC OS, and I couldn't be more excited. And no, not because I love that "new operating system smell", it's because Jefferson Starship is helping Microsoft launch Vista. How you ask? By donating a song? Nope, by performing on a flatbed truck in L.A., San Francisco, Austin and New Orleans, presumably the only cities proven to have been built on rock and roll. To this news, I can only respond with a hearty "WTF?"

Over a decade ago Bill tried (and failed) to buy R.E.M.'s "It's The End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" for Microsoft's Windows95 commercials, and instead threw wads of cash at perpetual moneywhores The Rolling Stones to use "Start Me Up". But this is an incredibly odd choice--was Styx not available? I don't even know who is even in the band anymore (certainly not Grace Slick, the only one I can remember). I can picture Bill Gates coming up with this brilliant idea while in his Monty Burns-like giant airplane hangar sized office, watching a bootlegged copy of the "Star Wars Holiday Special" during the holidays (on a computer using Windows Media Player, naturally):

Bill: Who are those young go-getters? I like the cut of their jib!
Smithers: Uhm, that's the rock band Jefferson Starship, sir.
Bill: Why, those young space-age scamps would be perfect entertainment for our new Vista operating system! If they're good enough for Star Wars, they're good enough for me! Just think of the merchandising--the kids will eat it up. Get Darth Vader on the telephone.
Smithers: But sir, that special was filmed in 1978 and I don't think . . .
Bill: Pish posh! Get them now, and I don't care how much money it takes! Oh, and make sure we sent Lucas one of those "Happy Life Day" cards. *Blasted spineless liberals.*

(I assume he has a Smithersesque toady that works for him.)

BONNAROOMERS

From the "So Ridiculous It Can't Possibly Be True Deparment", it's the rumored 2007 Bonnaroo Music Festival non-official lineup.

The Police (headline), Bob Dylan (headline), Pearl Jam (headline)

Tom Waits, Willie Nelson, Umphrey's McGee, Bela Fleck and the Flecktones, Modest Mouse, The Black Crowes, Ryan Adams, My Morning Jacket, Arcade Fire, Keller Williams Band, Hot Chip, America, TV on the Radio, Fountains of Wayne, Les Claypool, The Shins, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals, Toots and the Maytals, The Roots, The Decemberists, Of Montreal, Cat Power, Ozomatli, Perpetual Groove, Band of Horses, John Butler Trio, Nickel Creek, Medeski Martin and Wood, Lily Allen, Neko Case, Keiren Hedben (Four Tet) & Steve Reid, The Hold Steady, Earl Scuggs, Charlie Louvin, Man Man, Grizzly Bear, Konono #1, The Slip, Rodrigo y Gabriela, Uncle Earl, Annuals, Beirut, M. Ward, Cold War Kids, Girl Talk.

So there's the long rumored reunion of The Police on there, but Bob Dylan AND Tom Waits? Don't make me regret not going to this. Some of this could be true, but it starts to read like an indie music geek's wet dream, especially when you put all these on the same bill: Shins, Decemberists, Hold Steady, Beirut, M. Ward, Lily Allen, Neko Case, Cat Power, Band of Horses, Arcade Fire, TV on the Radio . . . yikes. We'll see how much of this is bullshit when the official lineup is released on Feb 14th. If The Smiths are on there, I'm definitely taking a road trip. (Yes, that same tired rumor. Of course, Morrissey said he'd rather eat his own testicles, and since he doesn't use them for anything there's still a chance. Although I think it was over when Andy Rourke sold his bass on ebay, I'm still predicting a Vegas reunion in 2018.)

Meanwhile, reunions seem to be a tradition at Coachella, Rage Against the Machine, Jesus and Mary Chain, and Crowded House are all reuniting for 2007, as they go to 3 days. Every year I think about going to one of these, and every year I think about how disgusting the whole venture is. Plus, that's way too much time to spend in the desert. Although it would be funny if Damien Rice played right after RATM. Maybe they'll do some songs together. Maybe "Leather and Lace" or that Kid Rock/Sheryl Crow song.

I can't imagine how crazy the Rage reunion is going to be. I remember seeing them at the 1993 version of Lollapalooza when people barely knew them and THAT was intense. The concert was held in this dry dust bowl of a field (Waterloo, in NJ) and when the music kicked in and the mosh pit started churning, you were immediately covered in dirt. We decided to make our way out of the crowd and stood at a reasonable distance to listen to them, and there was a veritable mushroom cloud of dust in front of the stage. Good times, good times. I'm just not cut out for that shit anymore.

REUNIONS GALORE!

More reunions to warn you about:

GENESIS are set to turn it on again, touring with the "...And Then There Were Three" members (which means no Peter Gabriel, of course). Man, these guys look incredibly old, but then again they looked like old men in the 1981 videos for ABACAB. So far the only dates are in Europe, which is fitting because Phil Collins is HUGE in France (he was on the radio every 10 minutes while I was over there).

AMERICA have inexplicably reunited. They're putting out a double album this month with one disc of new songs featuring numerous guest stars, and a second disc of their hits "live in the studio". A pair of those guests, Ryan Adams and Ben Kweller, will be playing with on David Letterman tonight. "70s rock icons" might be pushing it, but they did have 3 hit songs.

What 70s band will reunite next? Bread? Orleans? And where's Seals and/or Crofts?

WHAT I LISTENED TO: 2006

Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not by Arctic Monkeys.
No, they're not the second coming of The Beatles, or even The Jam. But you can believe the hype as these bloody lads can play, and the lyrics are quite interesting coming from a teenager. I'm interested to see what they do for an encore.

Everything All The Time by Band of Horses.
It's hard to beat this disc for sheer enjoyment. Just go download "The Funeral" now. Do it.

The Information by Beck.
Although I was secretly hoping for another Sea Change, this album has a good groove to it. Mr. Hansen can record an album like this in his sleep, it seems.

Gulag Orkestar by Beirut.
Out of left field, this album gets more intriguing with every listen. Former drummer of Neutral Milk Hotel creates something reminiscent of their excellent In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. Perfect soundtrack for your next Eastern Bloc Party!

12 EPs by Bishop Allen. These guys put out an EP every month for the entire year, and although I haven't heard all the songs plenty of them are on their website to sample. I'm impressed just by their determination. Meanwhile, I didn't do a damn thing in 2006.

Fort Recovery by Centro-matic.
Apparently these guys have been around for over 10 years, but I'm just catching up now. An effortless, solid disc. Think Wilco, circa Being There, before they went all weird on us.

Unplugged in Sweden by Chris Cornell.
Broadcast on the radio somewhere in Europe (I think) this excellent quality collection is technically not an "album". I've been begging for him to get back together with Kim Thayil and make an album like this; armed with just an acoustic guitar, you can really appreciate Cornell's incredible rock pipes. I was first alerted to this by the "Billie Jean" cover, which surprisingly doesn't suck. It's more than worth seeking it out for the Temple of the Dog and Soundgarden songs, and the Audioslave songs benefit from this uncomplicated treatment.

All This Time by Heartless Bastards.
See my previous post.

Nineteeneighties by Grant Lee Phillips.
Plaintive, folksy versions of New Order's "Age of Consent", Pixies' "Wave of Mutilation" and Psychedelic Furs' "Love My Way"? Sign me up.

Broken Boy Soldiers by The Raconteurs.
Brendan Benson smooths out Jack White's White Stripes histrionics to create a fun rock album.

Orphans by Tom Waits.
3 CDs worth of odds and ends, and all of it as interestingly weird as any of his best stuff.

Post-War by M. Ward.
I first discovered this songwriter through his Transfiguration of Vincent album, and went ahead and downloaded this "full band treatment" as well. Excellent stuff. I just hope his first name isn't "Montgomery", that'd be awkward.