ALL YOU NEED TO BUY IS LOVE

When I first heard about The Beatles releasing LOVE (JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS!), I gagged. The sheer audacity of these guys, constantly reworking, remastering, and rehashing their catalog and spitting it back at us, forcing us to purchase it over and over again. When I heard it was remixed by George Martin and his son for a Cirque de Soleil show, I cringed. When I saw the subtitle "At The Mirage" on the cover, I threw up in my mouth a little. The Beatles in Vegas! God, how I wanted to hate it.

Then I listened to it. I apologize; this album is excellent, inventive, sonically impressive, outstanding.

The Beatles have had all of these adjectives and more used to describe them over the last 40+ years, and when they were in their creative prime it's hard to argue that they didn't earn them. Like the Pitchfork review says, they were so good that they're no longer interesting to talk about. In fact, I get sick of hearing about them, and I'm a Beatles FAN. However, this impressive 21st century updating of their best material just might make them interesting again.

The best thing about this: it's not a "best of" (purists, you may leave now, and take a copy of 1 on your way out). On this sprawling 26 track suite, the songs seemlessly flow from one to the next; the sheer scope of this project is impressive, and overall the source material has never sounded better. But while a number of their songs remain mostly intact, lovingly tweaked and augmented with various instrumental clips, the fun of this collection is the artful reinterpretation of various songs remixed to fit right in with the current "mashup" music landscape. Hearing "Drive My Car/The Word/What You're Doing" and "Being For The Benefit of Mr. Kite!/I Want You (She's So Heavy)/Helter Skelter", "Within You Without You/Tomorrow Never Knows" blended together is nothing short of a revelation. It also reinforces my theory that producer George Martin was the glue that held this foursome together as they personally began to unravel during their final few albums.

The highlight for me is the reworking of "Strawberry Fields Forever", which starts with a smooth transition from Lennon's initial acoustic strumming to the final psychedelic masterwork, and closes with musical flourishes taken from "Sgt. Pepper", "In My Life", "Penny Lane", "Piggies", and "Hello, Goodbye" among others (yes, they're so familiar at this point that they might as well be tattooed on my brain)--the overall effect is simply stunning. And while not every track is a slam dunk (the string-laden "While My Guitar Gently Weeps", now 100% Clapton-free, is a little too maudlin for me, and no one needs more "Octopus' Garden"), it's a great representative cross-section, as well as a creative revisiting, of the Beatles' best songs.

Say what you will about this collection from a commercial aspect, but this sonic recreation of their best songs reminds me why I loved The Beatles in the first place: they were peerless songwriters, and a fun pop band that didn't take itself as seriously as their fans do. Viva Los Beatles!

(Great. There's a 5.1 surround version I haven't heard.)

TOM WAITS NEWS: THE DAILY SHOW AND MORE!

I'm sure everyone has seen The Daily Show but me, but for some reason a video clip of his performance isn't up on CC's oh-so-wittily named MotherLoad (ha ha, I get it!!!). I'll have to watch it tonight on the 8PM rerun.

Meanwhile, here's a great Mr. Waits interview on Pitchfork. You know, for every 10 things I hate about them, they manage to come with 1 or 2 good ones.

This book also looks interesting, in case you need to get me another Xmas gift: "Innocent When You Dream: The Tom Waits Reader" (edited by Mac Montandon), which is a compendium of interviews from 1974-2004.

TW will also be starring in a movie called Wristcutters: A Love Story, about people who attempted suicide. Sounds like another lighthearted romp for Mr. Waits, to rival Mystery Men! The official MySpace info site is here.

Orphans is also available on Emusic.com. Hmmm, I'll have to download it (at least the first two discs worth).

DIE, PITCHFORK, DIE!

Here's a great Slate.com article: DIE, PITCHFORK, DIE! by By Matthew Shaer.

To me Pitchfork Media is pretty harmless, and I only read the reviews for comic relief (and download their free mp3s, of course). If you take their pompous 8th-grade-English-class-quality musings that seriously, you need to get your head examined. Anyway, screw music reviewers, and their condescending, arrogant 1.9 ratings for Damien Rice's new album (I have to admit, it's a chore to listen to). As a famous songwriter once said: "There's a new band in town but you can't get the sound from a story in a magazine." That's right, I just quoted William "Billy" Joel. I suddenly feel like Chuck Klosterman.

TOM WAITS ON LETTERMAN

The elusive Mr. Waits visited the Late Show studio tonight in New York, and even got a sit down segment with Dave. During their discussion, he talked about raking leaves on Thanksgiving at his house in Spittleville, California (?), his kids' TV watching habits (TV meaning "turkey vultures" apparently) and the (incorrect) origin of "dead ringer". Okay, the stories are much more interesting when he tells them.



He closed the show with a performance of "Lie To Me", from the new Orphans collection. (Note: CBS has cut a deal with YouGoogle, so this performance may end up there at some point. I'll keep an eye out.)




I'm still waiting for him to add some more tour dates. I might have to make a road trip and actually see him this time. Tomorrow he's on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. (Maybe he'll be the second guest to perform a song, like The White Stripes a few years back. We shall see.)

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: THE HEARTLESS BASTARDS

To answer the eternal question "What's on my non-iPod digital music player?": The Heartless Bastards. Yes, they sound like a punk band, but like Death Cab for Cutie they sound nothing like what their name would imply. This Cincinnati, Ohio blues/rock group's second album, All This Time, starts off with a simple two-chord piano riff and builds to a chorus with rumbling drums and growling guitars, punctuated by singer Erika Wennerstrom's intriguing voice (I hear a little Patti Smith and Beth Orton in there). Their sound is simple, straightforward, uncomplicated, and unpretentious.

The entire album is streaming on their website, and their record label's site has two free mp3s to DL (see below). Fellow Cincinnatians WOXY.com website has a great "Lounge Act" in-studio live performance that will give you a taste of their sound.

But about that name . . .

Band: The Heartless Bastards [official][MySpace]
Members: Erika Wennerstrom (singer/songwriter/guitarist), Kevin Vaughn (drums), Mike Lamping (bass)
Album: All This Time [Amazon][emusic]
Label: Fat Possum
Best Tracks: Into the Open, All This Time, Searching for the Ghost, Came A Long Way.

WXPN: 885 Greatest Artists of All-Time

WXPN, UPenn's college radio station, has complied an exhausting list of the 885 Greatest Artists of All-Time. As you'll see by the list, it's every artist to ever produce music in the history of mankind. Here's the top 100.

1 THE BEATLES
2 BOB DYLAN
3 ROLLING STONES
4 BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN
5 U2
6 LED ZEPPELIN
7 GRATEFUL DEAD
8 NEIL YOUNG
9 PINK FLOYD
10 JONI MITCHELL
11 JIMI HENDRIX
12 THE WHO
13 VAN MORRISON
14 BOB MARLEY & THE WAILERS
15 ERIC CLAPTON
16 DAVID BOWIE
17 R.E.M.
18 JOHNNY CASH
19 ELVIS PRESLEY
20 PAUL SIMON
21 RADIOHEAD
22 STEVIE WONDER
23 ELVIS COSTELLO
24 THE CLASH
25 THE ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND
26 MILES DAVIS
27 STEELY DAN
28 DAVE MATTHEWS BAND
29 BONNIE RAITT
30 THE DOORS
31 TALKING HEADS
32 JOHN LENNON
33 ELTON JOHN
34 CROSBY, STILLS, NASH & YOUNG
35 JAMES TAYLOR
36 THE BAND
37 JACKSON BROWNE
38 PEARL JAM
39 PRINCE
40 YES
41 TOM WAITS
42 PETER GABRIEL
43 RICHARD THOMPSON
44 FRANK ZAPPA
45 TOM PETTY
46 NIRVANA
47 RAY CHARLES
48 BILLY JOEL
49 JOHN COLTRANE
50 STING
51 SIMON & GARFUNKEL
52 THE KINKS
53 THE BEACH BOYS
54 PHISH
55 GENESIS
56 SANTANA
57 FRANK SINATRA
58 JANIS JOPLIN
59 WILCO
60 STEVIE RAY VAUGHAN
61 COLDPLAY
62 BECK
63 ARETHA FRANKLIN
64 DIRE STRAITS
65 THE CURE
66 LUCINDA WILLIAMS
67 COUNTING CROWS
68 QUEEN
69 INDIGO GIRLS
70 THE EAGLES
71 THE POLICE
72 THE SMITHS
73 JEFF BUCKLEY
74 ELLA FITZGERALD
75 MARVIN GAYE
76 JERRY GARCIA
77 B. B. KING
78 BEN FOLDS
79 RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS
80 ANI DIFRANCO
81 TORI AMOS
82 LEONARD COHEN
83 WILLIE NELSON
84 FLEETWOOD MAC
85 THE VELVET UNDERGROUND
86 THE RAMONES
87 WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART
88 THE MOODY BLUES
89 LYLE LOVETT
90 RYAN ADAMS
91 PAUL MC CARTNEY
92 LOUIS ARMSTRONG
93 CAROLE KING
94 JOHN HIATT
95 JOHN PRINE
96 THE PIXIES
97 LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN
98 PATTY GRIFFIN
99 WARREN ZEVON
100 JETHRO TULL

I like seeing the Pixies edging out Beethoven, and Tom Waits beating the crap out of Mozart, that's classic. There's no arguing or debating the validity of this (e.g. Sting ranked higher than The Police, or the Dead better than Pink Floyd), because it's the FINAL AUTHORITATIVE LIST and it is INSCRUTABLE.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN ADAMS, YOU CRAZY BASTARD!

Ryan Adams turned 32 yesterday, and boy is he one screwed-up mofo. A prolific musical genius, an asshole, a dork, maybe all of the above. From critical acclaim (Heartbreaker, which had me at "Argument With Rawlings Concerning Morrissey") to critical bashing (Rock and Roll), he's been all over the map. Perfect evidence of his enigmatic oeuvre can be found at his new Battlestar Galactica designed website with a welcome rap with the lyrics "It's autumn in New York, y'all!" If you dare click on the multitude of buttons (be afraid, be very afraid), you can find Teleport with blog entries, an optical illusion, a Missle Command game (no shit), and random song snippets. Then there's Cardinals Radio (named after his band, not the World Series champs) where you can stream a bunch of his tunes, as well as enjoy the Beck-ish rap stylings of DJ Reggie, and various rap/country/punk tunes by The Shit (all of which are Ryan Adams, of course). I can't decide which is my favorite song, "David Fucking Letterman", "Hillbilly Joel", "Drunk Santa", or "Drunk As A Pile of Shit". Wonderfully weird and pretty hilarious.

His birthday blog entry celebrates music, being sober for 6 months, chocolate, Eddie Izzard, meeting Jennifer Aniston, and spending his birthday in Trinity Church with Cowboy Junkies playing "Sweet Jane"--a lot more exciting than my birthday. Most of all I respect the guy for doing whatever the hell he wants, hipster naysayers be damned, because that's what music is all about. Happy birthday, you crazy bastard!

STREAMING DUMP: DAMIEN RICE "9"

DAMIEN RICE's new album 9 is now streaming in its entirety on AOL Music. It doesn't seem to play with Firefox, so I'm currently sampling it on (GASP!) IE 6.0. The things we do for music.

See the previous blog entry right here.

SCARLETT'S PASTIES AND A G-STRING

Scarlett Johansson has signed a record deal according to FOX News, and will be releasing an album of Tom Waits songs next year. I think this news has everyone collectively saying WTF? But in my eyes, she somehow managed to get HOTTER. I didn't think it would be possible.

This has brought out the punsters, and since I can't make a better joke allow me to quote this AOL Music Blog article:

We're pretty certain that a good portion of the country's male populace has had the phrase 'Pasties and a G-String' run through its collective mind upon hearing the name Scarlett Johansson. For some reason, however, we doubt that those visions feature the actress singing the Tom Waits song of that name -- which may be the best folks can expect, at least for the time being.

I guess we'll have to wait a while for The Island 2. She hasn't really been in a good movie since Lost In Translation, though I'm in the minority I didn't particularly enjoy that one.

A short list of songs I'd like to hear her sing:
Everything Goes To Hell
Bad Liver and a Broken Heart
16 Shells from a Thirty-Ought Six
Warm Beer and Cold Women
What's He Building In There?

A short list of songs that she might actually do (my first musical blognostication):
Time
Hold On
Ol '55 (already done by Sarah Maclachlan)
Tom Traubert's Blues
I Wish I Was In New Orleans

Scarlett Johansson Sings Tom Waits [AOL Music Blog]
Scarlett Johansson Record Deal in the Works [FOX News]

SMOKING GUN: BACKSTAGE PASS

The Smoking Gun has compiled over 200 rock star "riders", which are lists of backstage requirements for touring musicians. Naturally, they're pretty absurd. The newest one is for The Killers, who apparently require Makers Mark bourbon on Mon, Wed, Fri, while preferring Jack Daniels on Tues, Thurs, and Sat, and Jameson on Sundays (because it's The Day of Rest, I suppose).

Although I couldn't click on all 200, I've highlighted some of the most interesting requirements I've found so far:

Guns n' Roses. Wonder bread and Dom Perignon for Axl, porn mags for the band.
Van Halen. Wow, that's a lot of tequila! (This must be from the Van Hagar days, before he marketed his own.)
Sinead O'Connor (2002). "Root ginger - raw (about two hands worth)". (Huh?)
Christina Aguilera (2000). "Flinstones Vitamins".
Paul McCartney (2000). "Paul's furniture should be nice & comfy!" Jeez, that's better furnished than my apartment.
Meat Loaf. First of all "'MEAT LOAF' is two (2) words". Second, "roast beef tenderloin (cooked medium) sliced and served hot in a covered chafing tray - beef gravy on the side" and "steamed broccoli and sauteed green beans almandine (CRISP -NOT SOGGY). What, no meat loaf?
Luciano Pavarotti. "There must be no distinct smells anywhere near the Artist." Hey, he who smelt it, dealt it.
Pearl Jam (2003). A tank of oxygen, but NO BUDWEISER! Amen, Eddie.

THE D

Tenacious D is back.

JB and Kyle have a movie coming out on 11/17 called The Pick of Destiny. The trailer makes it look like a cross between The Blues Brothers and Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. Man, I hope it's not as bad as those two movies.

Two righteous dudes? Who came up with that lame voiceover?

They also have a video for the title song from the movie. This news is even more interesting: they're playing Madison Square Garden. How is that possible? Can they really fill that place? They seem like a Theater at MSG type of band.

Long live the D!

UPDATE: I took the embedded trailer off the blog, because it plays EVERYTIME YOU VISIT THE BLOG (unlike YouTube, and the like). That was annoying, and quite frankly the trailer wasn't all that funny. Anyway, Tenacious D was a lot more tolerable when they just appeared in 10 minute episodes after "Mr. Show".

DOWN THE YOUTUBE

I can't believe Google bought a U-Tube for over (/placing outstreched pinky finger onto corner of mouth) ONE BILLION DOLLARS. I'm sure there are cheaper U-tube manometers out there; in fact, you can build your own if you wish to check your proprane pressure. Oh, they bought YouTube. My bad. That's still a lot of money. Now it's merely going to be a huge marketing site for whores like Paris Hilton, Sean "BK Diddy Whopper" Combs and that asinine lonelygirl15 thing. What a drag.

It was fun while it lasted. But eventually, as Tom Waits once sang, Everything Goes To Hell.

Therefore I'm discontinuing my scintillating FRIDAY NIGHT VIDEOS feature because it's only a matter of time before the record companies start suing Google for copyright infringement. I also don't feel like having a truckload of dead video links on my blog.

TOWER COLLAPSES UNDER ITS OWN WEIGHT

Tower Records, who declared bankruptcy two years ago and tried to make a comeback, is finally going out of business for good and selling off all their merchandise. Honestly, this chain was great was about 20 years ago, and when I was still buying records I would routinely make pilgrimages to the 4th & Broadway store, and during college to buy cassettes and CDs at the Philly South Street branch. I can't even tell you how many yellow and red bags I've ended up with over the years.

However I can't say I've purchased anything from them in quite some time, because they've ALWAYS been overpriced; if your non-sale CDs are consistently priced at $18.99 and up it's only a matter of time before you go under. The only thing I can say for them is that they always had the widest selection of CDs, which made all the difference when you were looking for that obscure import pressing or a rare single.

It's just as well since no one collects records anymore, or even calls them "records" anymore. Now I have to go check out the Nanuet store to see what they have left . . .

DAMIEN RICE: NUMBER 9, NUMBER 9, NUMBER 9 . . .

Damien Rice is finally returning with his second album, 9, on November 14th. This is not his 9th album, it's only his 2nd. The 10 (not 9) song tracklist:

1. 9 Crimes
2. The Animals Were Gone
3. Elephant
4. Rootless Tree
5. Dogs
6. Coconut Skins
7. Me, My Yoke And I
8. Grey Room
9. Accidental Babies
10. Sleep Don't Weep

The first single, featuring Lisa Hannigan on vocals, entitled "9 Crimes" is streaming online. It will be released on October 9 on iTunes. No word if he's including a hidden cover of The Beatles "Revolution 9". Nine, 9, nine, 9 . . . I've typed it so much, the number has lost all meaning.

IS THAT ALL RIGHT, IS THAT ALL RIGHT WITH YOU?

FRIDAY NIGHT VIDEOS: BATTLE OF THE ALBUM COVERS

This video is genius. I don't know what else to say, so just watch it.



Animated by Man vs. Magnet, courtesy of Ugly Pictures (who have some funny VW netads too).

WHAT BAND FROM THE 80's ARE YOU?

This is dumb, but I like the result. Though I was secretly hoping it would be Kajagoogoo.

What band from the 80s are you?

You rule. in 15 years, you won't be as known as you are now, but most of the people that will know you then will like you (or else I'll beat them with a stick). You're nice to listen to.
Take this quiz!








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ROCK ALTERNATIVE ALTERNATIVES

My favorite indie rock internet radio station WOXY went off the air on Sept 15th at 5:40 ET, playing Oasis "Acquiesce", Public Enemy "Fight the Power" and MC5 "Kick Out the Jams" to close out their final playlist. Ever since then I've been looking for a suitable replacement. Verdict: there really isn't one, they were truly one of a kind. Plus, a lot of the alternatives I've found won't play on my computer at work (damn WMP 6.1). But here are a few that I've tried out.

The Current. This is a Minnesota public radio station which I can't listen to at work that has a little more eclectic mix: indie rock during middays, and some blues and jazz sprinkled in, and no hip-hop whatsoever (they're very white in Minny). What little I've heard has sounded pretty good, and they also have podcasts to sample.

Radio-Indie-Pop. An awful name, but a simple concept: give the listener the control over what they want to hear. There generate a different DJ-free playlist every day, and you can skip any song you want or play it again, like an mp3 player. Nice site, free registration required.

WLIR. Okay, so they're pretending to be the old 92.7 FM from Hempstead, Long Island (which later turned to WDRE, and then went off the air replaced by a Spanish station). This was the only station I could listen to back in the 80s to get my fix of Depeche Mode, New Order, The Cure and The Clash. Judging by the predictable crud on the playlist (Snow Patrol? Evanescence?), this isn't the same groundbreaking station. But they make up for the lack of Malibu Sue by giving us the 2 hour Flashback Lunch, in case you need more Romeo Void or Book of Love in your life.

Pandora. This site with its deceptively simple web interface is a resource hog, so it's either work or listen to this. Connected with the "Music Genome Project", it theoretically feeds you music depending on your likes and dislikes, but I found it spits out some truly odd choices. For instance, the 80s channel I tried to create kept giving me Green Day and The Bravery, and my Radiohead/Walkmen/Built To Spill channel gave me back Billy Freaking Joel. Ugh! It also doesn't let you skip too many songs in a given hour, which is irritating considering about 2/3 of the songs it gives you are not what you want to hear. I guess the more varied your tastes are, the more you confuse the program.

XM's Lucy. Discovered at Bourbon Street on Saturday, they play a great alternative mix, including R.E.M., Foo Fighters, 10,000 Maniacs, Soundgarden, The Sundays. Of course, I don't have the necessary software to listen to this at work, so maybe I'll try it at home on AOL's website.

KEXP 90.3. This Seattle station has similar weekday playlists to WOXY, but it leaves a weird West Coast aftertaste. Usual suspects like TV On The Radio and Wolf Parade show up during the day, with occasional songs by The Pixies and The Smiths. After hours and weekends are specialty shows, which I don't really listen to much. This is the one I'm going to keep on in the background at work, with Radio-Indie-Pop waiting in the wings to pick up the slack.

ROCK THE CRADLE

Some creative entity called Baby Rock Records has put out CDs containing lullabye versions of songs by popular groups (under the name Rockabye Baby!). From their website:

Baby Rock Records transforms timeless rock songs into beautiful instrumental lullabies, sending your little one to a slumberland of sweet dreams. Delicate instruments such as the glockenspiel, vibraphone, mellotron, harp and bells create a soothing atmosphere of sound. These charming recordings are sophisticated enough for everyone to enjoy, yet gentle enough for your little angel. This is cherub rock for a new generation.

So far, they've covered Metallica, Radiohead, Coldplay, Pink Floyd, and even TOOL.

I can't imagine what their versions of Paranoid Android and Schism sound like. Apparently they're selling well, because Beach Boys, Nirvana, The Cure, No Doubt, Queens of the Stone Age (hopefully, these lullabyes don't paralyze, right?), The Pixies, Smashing Pumpkins, Led Zeppelin and Beatles collections are forthcoming.

Yikes. I think I'll wait until the greatest hits album comes out.

VIDEO DUMP: THE WHITE STRIPES "THE HARDEST BUTTON TO BUTTON"

Jack and Meg White of the The White Stripes did a brief but funny cameo on The Simpsons this week, appearing in a segment parodying the music video for "The Hardest Button to Button" (from the album Elephant).



UPDATE: Here's the clip from the show, which is already on YouTube.


"Hey kid, why don't you watch where you're drumming?!"
'Tick Tock' Simpson and The White Stripes "The Hardest Button to Button" [YouTube]

As for the original video, it was filmed both in the 33rd Street PATH station and Central Park in Manhattan, and features a Beck cameo (the guy 2:30 into it with the white suit). It was directed by Michel Gondry, who is responsible for some interesting music videos, the excellent Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and a trippy looking new movie called The Science of Sleep.

Oh, and he's French. You know, just in case you were wondering.

The White Stripes "Hardest Button To Button" [YouTube]
The Science of Sleep (La science des rêves) - Official Site

R.E.M - BERRY'S BACK (UPDATE)

All four original members of R.E.M. played together this week, including the drummer formerly known as Bill Berry, and we have video evidence to prove it (good thing none of them murdered anyone). They did a benefit gig at the 40 Watt Club in Athens on Tuesday, prior to their Georgia Hall of Fame induction on Saturday (see previous bloggage). Here are clips of them performing "Begin the Begin" and "So. Central Rain". Stipe used the "tip your bartenders" line. Ha!


R.E.M. "Begin the Begin (Live at the 40 Watt Club, 9/12/06)" [YouTube]


R.E.M. "So. Central Rain (Live at the 40 Watt Club, 9/12/06)" [YouTube]

(NOTE: These videos only got 2 and 3 stars, respectively, on YouTube because the young 14 year old punks all over that site don't know dick about music history, and think lonelygirl15 is a real person.)

There are also some clips from the aforementioned GA-MHOF performance on 9/16/06, which I guess was only shown on Georgia PBS stations. Fittingly, the drums were mixed really loud at the beginning of "Begin the Begin", pointing out how much they miss Bill Berry. They also sang "Man on the Moon" and "Losing My Religion" from Out Of Time (1989). Enjoy while watching rich old white folks "rock out".


R.E.M. "Begin the Begin" Live at Georgia Music Hall of Fame, 9/16/06 [YouTube]

Now comes word from their official site that they might even record a song for charity, which would be the first time the 4 of them have worked together since 1997. (Not coincidentally was about the time I started to lose interest in these guys.)

VIDEO DUMP: ELECTRIC SIX "RADIO GAGA"

You may remember Detroit jokerockers Electric Six from "Danger! High Voltage" fame, with special guest Jack White. Well, now they've apparently taken the late Freddie Mercury to a gay bar.

When the original version of "Radio Gaga" was released in 1984 (on the album The Works), Queen was already far past their expiration date. The album The Game (1980) was a blockbuster success in the US, with crossover hit "Another One Bites The Dust" topping every chart that year; it was danceable and funky enough for disco and R&B fans, poppy enough for the Hot 100, with enough badass swagger for the rock chart. Think of it as a latter day Gnarls Barkley "Crazy", or as I like to call it, The Song That Kickstarted "Weird" Al Yankovic's Career. Beyond that the album showed signs of versatility, with the rockabilly-tinged "Crazy Little Thing Called Love", and "Save Me", which may have been the precursor to the metal power ballad.

Queen had a difficult time following it up, and released the plodding Hot Space in 1982 (with the Queen/David Bowie classic single "Under Pressure" tacked onto it), and never really recovered. The ponderous Radio Gaga (to this day, I have no idea what it's about, exactly) was pretty much the end of Queen's chart success in the US, a song/video combo as cliched and useless as "Mr. Roboto".

Which brings us to Electric Six dusting it off and rerecording it in 2006. I can't imagine anyone would listen to this and actually enjoy it, in a non-ironic way. This song would be a fun song to cover in concert, which would get some knowing chuckles from music fans in the crowd, but it's a pretty bad idea for a single release. However the video, ostensibly a "tribute" to Freddie Mercury (nee Farrokh Bulsara), more than makes up for it. Fake mustache? Novelty teeth? Ghost poodles? Sign me up! Someone still loves you, Freddie.



Electric 6 - Radio Gaga [YouTube]

LOW FIDELITY

This blog posting has a recommendation and a warning all wrapped up in one. I am not responsible how you use this information, but please use your best judgment.

I just read Nick Hornby's book entitled High Fidelity (1995), a witty, poignant story about a London record store owner who defines his pathetic life through Top 5 music lists. He starts off the book by listing his "Top 5 Most Memorable Split-ups", and then attempts to catch up with those 5 women who broke his heart. It's very well written, with great observations about both relationships and music. You may have seen the excellent movie adaptation from 2000 starring John Cusack and Jack Black, the former playing the store owner, and the latter at his most endearing and least annoying. I even liked Iben Hjejle as his current ex-grilfriend Laura, but it looks like this was her only American film (she's one of those Denmarkians).

Now, this is where the warning comes in. Someone in their infinite wisdom thought it would be a good idea to make this into a Broadway play. I don't know how this happened. I'll admit, I'm not a huge fan of musicals to begin with (especially those not named SPAMALOT). However, the songs on the official website are among the worst I've ever heard. To say they sound like Mentos commercials would be an insult to the Freshmaker. Just listen for yourself. This might be a worse idea than taking his book Fever Pitch, by all accounts an excellent book about English football fanatics, and turning it into an insufferable Red Sox movie starring Jimmy Fallon.

Oh my god, those somgs are so bloody awful. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little, and I really could use some of those Mentos.

All I can say is if you see this play, buy the book and/or rent the DVD, you'll only be encouraging Nick Hornsby and his evil henchmen. Go to the library and get the book or the movie for FREE, if you absolutely must. Hopefully, this will all blow over before too long. Together, we can get through this nightmare.

Oh, and one last thing. My Top Five Elvis Costello Songs:

1. Alison
2. I Want You (Album Version)
3. No Action
4. Uncomplicated
5. Green Shirt

Notice that the song "High Fidelity" is not on there. Thank you.

PUTTING ON A CLINIC

Clinic is a Liverpudlian four piece group who don't really sound like anyone else. But more importantly, they don't look like anyone else, as they wear surgical masks at all times while performing. Seriously, I caught them in concert back in 2002 in a very hot, stuffy Maxwell's in Hoboken, and they kept those masks on the entire time.

They have a new single out called "Harvest (Within You)", and the accompanying video is interesting, a surreal homage to the pagan festival celebrating the harvest. Or just some wacky English chaps in a field wearing surgical masks. Either or.

The new album Visitations will be available in the UK and on iTunes on October 16, 2006 but not in US stores in January 29, 2007. What the hell is that about?



This video for "Tusk" (thankfully, not the Fleetwood Mac song) is proceeded by a epilepsy warning, which may be a music video first.

Clinic - Harvest [YouTube]
Clinic - Official MySpace site

JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

McSweeney's has some damn funny writing on their blog. Among the best stuff is JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES, which can be best described as letters written in response to a song. Okay, that's not a good description, so here are some examples.

Attention, Mr. Axl Rose: We Did Not Feel Welcome in the Jungle.

"The trip was a disaster from almost the beginning. True, you welcomed us to the jungle. And that was hospitable. And right off the bat you promised fun and games. But there were never any fun and games! Would it have been so hard to put together a bingo or a quick trivia thing? Then you promised that you and the other fellows could find whatever we might need. Well, we needed food and somewhere to lie down for a while. And all you offered was some stale pretzels and an old futon."

A LETTER TO SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND FROM SGT. PEPPER.

"Battling loneliness is difficult even without having a veteran rock band constantly drawing attention to it. I know you always get by with a little help from your friends, but the efforts of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band make my loneliness a life sentence. Imagine a day in my life, boys. Here I am, almost 64 now, with no one to turn to."

CONCERNING JON BON JOVI, WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE.

"Bon Jovi is no regular cowboy. He rides a horse made of steel. A steel horse. I am not shitting you. And don't think this is some sort of comical clunky robot horse with whimsical hydraulic sound effects and extraneous flashing lights. This thing is exactly like a Thoroughbred, only much larger and made from an incredibly resilient alloy. Bullets can't even penetrate this horse, much less stop it. Bon Jovi is also armed with a loaded six-string that he carries on his back. Reports differ on whether he uses it as a sort of crossbow or whether it's actually a guitar that he plays with such shocking mastery as to render victims helpless. Regardless, take heed."

Funny stuff.

NOUVELLE WAVE?

The French musical duo (I may have already lost you, but stick with me) Nouvelle Vague didn't learn from their first mistake. Last time out they made an entire album of laid-back lounge versions 80s post punk/new wave songs, including Depeche Mode's "Just Can't Get Enough", Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart", and the Clash's "The Guns of Brixton", among others. Now they've released a SECOND album of the same dreck entitled Bande-A-Part. Their take on the Billy Idol/Generation X classic "Dancing With Myself" made me throw up in my mouth a little. (Not that the original was that amazing, mind you, but this one is cringeworthy.) It reminded me of the Mike Flowers Pops Orchestra cover of Oasis' "Wonderwall", and if you're not familiar with that, think the sonic equivalent of being beaten to death with a frilly lace cravat. Among the other songs they delicately trash this time around:

"Ever Fallen In Love?" (The Buzzcocks) [listen]
"The Killing Moon" - (Echo and the Bunnymen) [listen]
"Sweet and Tender Hooligan" - (The Smiths)
"Pride (In the Name of Love)" - (U2) [listen]
"Bela Lugosi's Dead" - (Bauhaus) [listen]

BAU-FREAKING-HAUS??? Oh, this can't be good. And my most accounts, it's a hit and miss mess, a perfect iTunes/emusic "a la carte" (French term) album if there ever was one.

A much better way to go would be the Grant Lee Phillips album Nineteeneighties, who incidentally also does a version of "Killing Moon", as well as some Pixies, New Order, The Smiths, and a great version of the Psychedelic Furs' "Love My Way" [listen].

BERRY'S BACK . . . OR IS HE?

Back when I first became an R.E.M. fan (after taping a few albums from a friend, 1986's Lifes Rich Pageant sealed the deal for me), it was always Berry-Buck-Mills-Stipe, as they epitomized the "band first" ideology. I even remember Michael Stipe once saying that if any of the four leave the band, there WAS no R.E.M. However, after drummer Bill Berry left the band in 1997 (and I consequently stopped buying R.E.M albums), there was still a huge Warner Brothers contract to fulfill, so the remaining three members continued making (sub-par) albums without him.

When I first saw the BERRY TO REJOIN R.E.M. headlines today, I felt a little jolt of nostalgic excitement (which is as useful as a really strong static shock from a doorknob). Then I clicked on the link and realized they are only getting together to perform 3 songs at their Georgia Music Hall of Fame induction ceremony (are the Georgia Satellites in there yet?) on September 16. But it's still pretty cool.

Even though he's not an "official member", Berry has played with them a few times since 1997: once at a Atlanta show in 2003, again for a friend/roadie's wedding in October 2005, and again this past year at a Minus Five show (Buck's side project). The original four piece band defined "tight live band" back in the day, and this 2003 clip where Bill joins them on a cover of Aerosmith's "Permanent Vacation" gives you a little taste of that.

VIVA LA BERRYBUCKMILLSSTIPE!



R.E.M. - Permanent Vacation [YouTube]

RIP WOXY

My favorite internet radio station, WOXY.com, is shutting down forever on September 15. I don't have to tell you how much that sucks. This (non-CC) station had the perfect blend of new indie rock, local bands (well, to Ohio, anyway), and vintage stuff (including the incredible WOXY Vintage stream). Heck, I could even e-mail them at any time of the day and request anything, Tom Waits, Portishead, Jeff Buckley . . . AND THEY'D PLAY IT! (Beat that with your satellite radio!) And it's also the only decent radio station I can (miraculously) listen to at work, one of the only things that gets me through the day (that and The Onion; if they blocked that at work, I'd have to hand in my two week notice). Now I have to slog through the other choices to find an truly alternative alternative. Ugh.

RIP WOXY.

ROCK AND ROLL THE VOTE (PART 2)

Because Gary Glitter is a convicted pedophile, and playing this song advocates improper kid touching, the New England Patriots are dropping "Rock and Roll (Part 2)" and looking for a new song. Here is the official voting ballot:

Which of the following do you think should be the new Touchdown song?

The 1812 - Overture
Ain't Talkin' Bout Love - Van Halen
Elevation - U2
Song 2 - Blur
Thunderstruck - AC/DC
Yeah - Usher

The song will be "unveiled" at Gillette Stadium on 9/10 . . . if they score a TD (they're playing the Bills, so it's almost a foregone conclusion). I predict the winner will be AC/DC, with U2 as the dark horse (due to the deep Irish ties in Beantown). The Blur song seems like more of a hockey song, and I love that band Overture but I would have chosen their classic hit "William Tell".

* * *

In other news, the new Audioslave album, Revelations (9/5) is streaming on VH1.com. I'm not a big fan, and having seen both Soundgarden and RATM in concert, the whole is considerably less than the sum of its parts (or something to that effect). Chris Cornell still has the best voice in rock and roll today, I just wish he was using it to sing better songs.

QUICK NOTES: THE FREESTREAMIN' BOB DYLAN

Bob Dylan's new album is currently streaming on AOL Music. He's pulling out all the stops this time, even doing commercials for Apple iTunes resplendent in black cowboy gear (hey, Johnny Cash is no longer using it). Wait, what is he saying--he's looking for Alicia Keys? I have no idea what the old man is rambling about. He was also recently complaining about the audio quality of modern albums, and about how the kids on his lawn should remove themselves from it. The Raconteurs, are touring with Zimmy this fall. Interesting. Considering there's already a Dylan & Jack (poor quality) recording of "Ball & Biscuit (Live)" out there, there's a chance they might perform together.

Jack White's other band, The White Stripes, will be on The Simpsons on 9/16, in an episode titled Jazzy and the Pussycats.

Beck has two new songs streaming on his goofy-ass site. To find them, hover the mouse over the upper right corner, and a boom box will drop down and start playing the songs, "Dark Star" and "Nausea". (Careful while listening, as the second track streams about 4x louder than the first one.)

Modest Mouse have a new album coming out on 12/19, and have even come up with a name for it (and its a doozy): We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank. Well done! I think I've figured out new guitarist Johnny Marr's post-Smiths/Morrissey career choices: only perform with bands where the lead singer won't overshadow your guitar playing (see also: Electronic w/ Bernard Sumner and Neil Tennant, and The The).

MORE CURE

The Cure have given three more of their albums the deluxe remastered double CD treatment: The Top (1984), The Head on the Door (1985), and Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me (1987). Each of the first discs features a remastered version of the album, while the second discs have over a dozen extra tracks in the form of demos, outtakes, and live cuts. I'm trying to figure out if I need to buy any of these (again), and I don't know where to start.

The Top is a bleak, cacophonic 10 song collection written and recorded at a turbulent time for band leader Robert Smith, and it shows (exhibit A: "Bananafishbones"). Fueled by drink and drugs, he played nearly every instrument in the studio, while moonlighting as guitarist for Siouxsie and the Banshees. It has its moments ("Piggy In The Mirror"), but it's mostly a strained, harsh effort. (5 thumbs up)

Released the following year, The Head on the Door marked a jarring departure from the gloom and doom, as the lead-off track "Inbetween Days" showcased the band's keen pop sensibilities. Naturally, the lyrics still describe failure and isolation (heck, it's a CURE album), but at least they were letting a little light into the dusty attic on this one, with minimal filler. "A Night Like This" is a classic pop song. (8 thumbs up)

Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me is the most fully released of the three releases, although it's a bit of a sprawling mess. Originally released as a double album ("Hey You!" rejoins the album after being omitted from the initial CD release; I guess they didn't think it would fit--how quaint) this disc has something for everyone, with the uptempo ravers ("Why Can't I Be You?"), the dirges ("The Snakepit"), and the uncategorizable ("Hot Hot Hot!!!"). But it was the ebullient "Just Like Heaven" officially put them on the map in the U.S., and it still holds up. (7 thumbs up)

Having purchased all three of these upon their release the first time around, I can't justify re-buying any of them for the remastering alone, since the extra tracks on each of these releases are curiosities at best. The astonishing 17 extra tracks on Top are all completely unessential and would be a bit grating to sit through; the 16 on Head are mostly upbeat but not very polished; the 17 tracks on Kiss Me³ are the exact same songs from the album in different forms, and everyone of them seems like a mere footnote.

My assessment: these are strictly for the überfan, though Head on the Door might be worth it for the 4 tracks that never saw the light of day before in any form. Overall, I think it's best to just save your money for the next classic album on the list to be given the remastered deluxe treatment (*COUGH*disintegration*COUGH*).

IT'S A LYRICS ZOO OUT THERE!

I hate looking up lyrics online, because there are about 4000 sites, most of which have about 3 pop-up ads per page, and 40 irritating links asking me if I want some Tom Waits and/or Shakira ringtones. Uhm, no thanks.

However, Lyrics Zoo is a little better and comes with a bonus: the lyrics sometimes also have an embedded YouTube video on the page. In some cases it's a produced video, in other cases it's a rare live video. Here are some examples:

Arctic Monkeys - When The Sun Goes Down. Being outside of England, I don't know half the things he's singing on this album. You may recognize Stephen Graham who plays the "scummy" pimp; he played Tommy in Snatch, alongside Jason Stratham's Turkish.

Thom Yorke - Analyse. Quick quiz: which one is more depressing, the video or the song? You're BOTH right!

Wilco - Jesus, Etc. (Live). Great song, whose lyrics took on an ominous tone after 9/11 (lines like 'skyscrapers are scraping together' particularly). Wilco is always a great live act, as evidenced by this clip from a recent Canada show (7/12/2006).

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Dani California. Funny, Spinal Tap-esque video tour through rock history, though I cringed a little at the Nirvana Unplugged "parody".

Spoon - Anything You Want. This is a live performance from Austin City Limits. Great band, I'm surprised more people haven't heard of them. "I'll be in the backroom drinking my half of the beer."

VIDEO DUMP: OK GO "HERE IT GOES AGAIN"

This video is fantastic, for OK Go's "Here It Goes Again". A lot of people prefer the dance moves they bust out in the video for A Million Ways, but this one ups the ante. I've never had as much fun as OK Go on treadmills.



OK Go - Here It Goes Again [YouTube]
OK Go - A Million Ways [YouTube]

ARCHIVES.ORG

Internet Archive has a mindblowing collection of recorded media, including films, TV commercials, and various audio files. Check out the fascinating Wayback Machine, which archives old websites (like this Gateway 2000 site from Christmas 1996).

You can also find some excellent stuff in the Live Music Archive. Most of the concerts up here are audience recordings of highly variable quality, although a few are from the soundboard (you can sample them before DLing them. I just got myself a copy of a Spoon show that I was at, back in 2003--pretty damn cool. Here are a few highlights from the many bands available:

SPOON (I was at this 4/9/2003 Irving Plaza show; I remember Joe Davis pointing out the Kinks cover to me.)
ELLIOT SMITH (This full band show from 9/28/2000 is excellent. On the other hand, this drunken 1/31/2003 show, recorded 10 months before his death, is pretty chilling and shows how far he'd fallen.)
DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE (Eddie Vedder joins them during a hometown concert in Seattle on 11/9/2004.)
THE FRAMES (This short but sweet 2/6/2006 soundboard show from the Dublin band sounds great.)
TENACIOUS D (You know what time it is? Tenacious D time, ya muthafucka, go! Fuck yeah! Check out this show from 9/28/2001 with Phish's Page McConnell joining them on keyboards.)

SMITHS REUNION HITS A SNAG

When I heard about Andy Rourke selling his bass guitar on ebay a while back, I thought that was the first domino that would lead to an Eagles' Hell Freezes Over-esque money-grab reunion (a rare instance where I'd be behind such a thing). Unfortunately, Marr found gainful employment, officially joining Modest Mouse after jamming with them in the studio. That will delay the reunion by a few years, methinks.

As you may know, there were very few fans of The Smiths when they were together; I don't remember anyone ever giving them a good review here in the U.S. Now suddenly they're on everyone's "greatest albums of all time" lists? Not only are 4 of their 5 albums on the Rolling Stone Top 500 Greatst Albums of ALL TIME (that's right, 80% of their albums, more than the Who or Led Zep), but "Blender's 500 CDs You Must Own Before You Die!" list has them on there:

THE SMITHS
Singles
REPRISE, 1995
Arguably the greatest British singles band of the ’80s. From the sublime (“How Soon Is Now?”) to the faintly ridiculous (“There Is a Light That Never Goes Out”), these 45s remain some of the most intoxicating and original songs committed to vinyl.
Standout track: “How Soon Is Now?”

Okay, NOBODY was giving them praise like this when these songs came out. Fuck music journalists and their revisionist crap. Really.

MYSTERY WHITE BOY: THE MOVIE

After the success of Ray and Walk the Line, it appears a Jeff Buckley biopic is in the works, tentatively titled Mystery White Boy. It will chronicle his early musical career through his untimely drowning death on May 29, 1997, and will be directed by Brian Jun.

I'm not sure how to feel about this one. JB was one of my favorite artists, and I even got to see him in concert twice. I can't even imagine who would play him, although someone suggested James Franco of recent Spiderman movie fame (who I suppose looks a bit like him; I sincerely hope he doesn't try to sing like him).



I guess I'm merely curious to see to what degree they screw this up. This treatment worked for Johnny Cash and Ray Charles, most likely because details of their early years are pretty far removed, and since they'd both recently died Hollywood could embellish the truth all to hell. But to me this is different; even his mother Mary Guibert, who handles his estate, said he wouldn't have anything to do with such a movie if he were alive. Personally, I don't he'd have a crappy MySpace site either, but at least they're striving for "authenticity".

I feel I might be saying the same thing I said after the disappointing Andy Kaufman biopic Man on the Moon: just watch the original Andy Kaufman stuff.

I hope I'm wrong.

Jeff Buckley Official Site

THE INFORMATION ABOUT . . . UHM, THE INFORMATION

According to NME, Beck's new album will be called The Information (10/2/06). When I heard it was produced by Nigel Godrich, I was hoping for something along the lines of their previous collaborations, Mutations and Sea Change, but apparently this one is more hip-hop (ugh) . . . or is it? Beck says: "in a way it is and in a way it isn't". Uhm, okay. Hey, at least it's Beck, whose new website is fucking crazy (NME says there are 4 new songs here, but damned if I can find them).

Beck describes the new album cover as "modular", with stickers provided so you can design it yourself. Uhm, what about those people that are getting this on iTunes? Will he provide stickers for my mp3 player?

Beck is probably the most underrated singer/songwriter of his generation. Yeah, that's right. Just pick up the 10th anniversary edition of Odelay, and you'll see. If it ever comes out.

Meanwhile, here's the video for "Girl" from 2005, which is heavy on the MAD Fold-Ins. The all ighty ollar?



Beck - Girl (2005) [YouTube]

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: BAND OF HORSES

I have been listening to the latest Band of Horses album a lot lately, entitled Everything All The Time (recommended by Rob G. on our trip from Philly to Chicago). Formed in Seattle, WA, these two guys have put together an album of pure, straightforward pop-rock: no frills, no guitar solos, plaintive vocals. Lead singer Ben Bridwell reminds me a little of Doug Martsch, and once you get over his accent (where words like "sure" come out sounding like "shoe-urr", and "stand" is "stee-yand"), it's a really enjoyable listen from start to finish.

The Subpop Records website has two free tracks on it (see below), and their official website has some demos and non-album tracks (which every band should make available). There's also a streaming song here. Now if they could only change their name . . .

Band: Band of Horses
Members: Ben Bridwell (vocals/guitar), Mat Brooke (guitar)
Album: Everything All The Time
Label: Sub-Pop
Best Tracks: Great Salt Lake, The Funeral, Wicked Gil.

ELVIS HAS ROCKED THE BUILDING

I finally saw the first part of Decades Rock Live: Elvis Costello, and it might have been even more rewarding than the concluding part; I was really impressed with both Death Cab for Cutie and Fiona Apple. DC4C joined Elvis for "Accidents Will Happen" to kick it off, and they did an excellent rendition of "Kinder Murder" (off Brutal Youth), before Ben & Elvis did a nice acoustic version of "I Will Follow You Into the Dark". As for the latter song, it really benefitted from Elvis' weathered vocal delivery, which gave it more depth and weight, whereas Ben can sound a little too maudlin. Fiona Apple joined up with the Elvis & the band for the deep cut "Shabby Doll", and then she absolutely HURTLED HERSELF into "I Want You" like she was possessed; she literally gave me goosebumps. Elvis then did a great version of one of Apple's songs (that she chose) "I Know", and she hopped up and down like a giddy schoolgirl when he was done.

Finish up with the aforementioned Billie Joe from Green Day, and ladies and gentlemen, you've got yourself quite a show.

Note to VH1 and the show's producers: this is the way it should be done. Seriously, this show easily blew away all the other "DRL" shows combined. Not only that, but it showed everyone that despite his uneven output and strange projects as of late, Elvis Costello is a singer/songwriter/performer without peer.

(Fittingly, one of Elvis' videos was played on MTV's first day, and 25 years later he's still pumping it up.)

YOU SHOULD SING SOLO (THAT NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU)

Sorry, that's just a joke my dad used to say. Speaking of solo, after Audioslave release their 3rd disc this September, Chris Cornell is planning on releasing his 2nd solo album. Which reminds me: what the hell happened to Soundgarden guitarist Kim Thayil? Did he quit music and become an accountant or something? Can we get him to record some songs with Chris? This has to happen.

Bob Dylan also has a new solo album coming out entitled Modern Times, his 145th. Kris pointed me to a website called Second Hand Songs, a handy website that helps you find out how many times a song has been covered, and/or find out the original songwriter. On the "Most Covered Authors" list, Lennon and McCartney are #1 and #2, with Zimmy being #3 and Hank "Not Ready For Some Football" Williams, Sr. #4. I got a little confused after that when I saw Douglas Colvin, Jeffrey Hyman, and John Cummings at #5, #6, and #7, until I realized that's Dee Dee, Joey, and Johnny Ramone, respectively, of The Ramones. Oh, sure, of course. And Kris' favorite Jacques Brel is #24, one notch higher than David Bowie, coffee achiever, mover and shaker.

I'm going to admit something to you: I've never really liked Paul Simon. Sure, Simon & Garfunkel were great (Bookends is still a fantastic album), and Kodachrome is okay, but I also thought Paul's solo stuff was always a bit cloying and self-indulgent (like Beatle Paul), especially Graceland. Yeah I know, it's a universally loved album, but if I hear "You Can Call Me Al" one more time, you can call me a maniac because I'm going to go on a killing spree. However, I was struck by his new song, "How Can You Live in the Northeast?" I couldn't believe it was him, because it was straightforward, brooding and simple, and curiously devoid of a roomful of South African chanting singers. Okay, maybe I'm being hard on him. Good song.

The Killers new song, When You Were Young, sounds like a trainwreck; it's just not very catchy, his voice is grating after about 30 seconds, and the song just dies right in the middle. I predict they're going to have a tough sophomore slump with Sam's Town (isn't that a warehouse club, like CostCo?).

Oh, and Interpol almost broke up, they don't run a MySpace site, and Carlos D (bassist, keyboard arrangements) almost joined Trail of Dead (he's quoted as saying: "I needed something more musical, something that didn't sound exactly like a modern day, well-produced Joy Division rip-off") . . . but never mind because none of that happened. They're happy and living in NYC (or moving to NJ?), and working on their 3rd album.

MISSING PERSONS: SINGERS

There is a new epidemic that is sweeping the concert scene this summer, and this time we're not talking about herpes. Lead singers of major rock bands are disappearing in record numbers, and it may have already happened to your favorite band without your knowledge. Even though their frontmen have gone AWOL, more often then not these bands continue to tour without them. This phenomenon is akin to a chicken still running around with its head cut off; it may still continue to function for a short time without any apparent ailment, but it will eventually collapse and die. Oh, and it's pretty disgusting to watch.

The biggest problem, however, is that most of these bands tour using their original name. Although some bands have made this clear through highly notable personnel changes and/or lawsuits, like Pink Floyd without Roger Waters, or Van Halen without David Lee Roth, there are many others are not so forthcoming. This is false advertising at its finest; at least the makers of a food called "blueberry muffin mix" are required by the FDA to state, albeit in the smallest font they can find, "includes imitation blueberry flavored bits". However, the rock music industry is not required by law to disclose the missing main ingredient that made us fans of the band in the first place, with disasterous results.

At least some bands make strides to hint at their inadequacies. For instance, The Doors, touring with Ian Astbury on lead vocals to replace the irreplaceable Jim Morrison, at least had the decency to call themselves "21st Century Doors". Last year, even though the Michael Hutchence-less INXS unfortunately deceided to retain their name, at least they chose a replacement singer through a well-publicized reality show (and you, the viewer, are partly responsible for the stiff they ultimately chose). This summer, The Cars, touring without lead singer Rik Ocasek or deceased bassist/singer Ben Orr, have added Todd Rundgren to their lineup to become "New Cars" (and no, that's not a "new car smell" that you're getting a whiff of). Unfortunately, not all bands are this honest towards the ticket buying public. (Don't get me started with Jefferson Airplane/Starship; there are two incarnations out there, neither of them featuring Grace Slick.)

Something has to be done about this travesty. Until the government steps in and stops this criminal activity, I have made a handy list of the offending culprits who are covering up the true identities of their band members, and I have proposed new names that at least hint at the changes they have made without totally confusing their fan base.

Styx - Dennis DeYoung = Stynx
Foreigner - Lou Gramm = Foreignest
Alice in Chains - Layne Staley = Jerry in Debt
Queen - Freddie Mercury = Queenless
10,000 Maniacs - (Natalie Merchant + Robert Buck) = 9,998 Maniacs
Journey - Steve Perry = Journey's End

TOP 500 SONGS WITHOUT WHICH BECAUSE WE SAID SO

A few years ago, we tried to compile the TOP 500 SONGS BECAUSE WE SAID SO, after Rolling Stone put out their TOP 500 SONGS OF ALL TIME list. This guy started a whole blog with the intention of naming 500 songs he couldn't live without. It sounds like it's possible, right? I mean, we had the benefit of THREE people suggesting songs, and we weren't really "serious" about it. So we should have been at least 3x as productive, in theory.

As it turns out, we both failed to finish our lists. He just recently called it quits in the mid 300's (377, to be exact), while we flamed out about halfway through. He says, in his inimitable English manner, "Anyone who can find more than 500 songs . . . that they can't live without is probably spreading their jam a little too thinly on the toast." Well put, Guv'nah!

Anyway, we did get three lists out of it: 500-401, 400-301, and 300-255, so that's something.

Together, we'd have a list of over 600 songs. Here's the punch line: we only have 7 songs in common.

Time - Pink Floyd
Bela Lugosi's Dead - Bauhaus
Fairytale In New York - Pogues (featuring Kirsty MacColl)
Song 2 - Blur
Riders on the Storm - The Doors
Stop Draggin' My Heart Around - Nicks, Stevie and Tom Petty
EVery Breath You Take - The Police

Okay, that's the last I speak of this.

THIEVES, TRANSFORMERS, AND HOT BLOGGERS

There are all sorts of lowlife types out there: bootleggers, stalkers, paparazzi. But this is a bizarre combination of the three: a website has posted some recordings of U2 rehearsing new songs at their house on the French Riviera. That's right, some thief captured this with a handheld recorder while walking on the beach. I guess whatever is wafting through the air is "free". This shit is a new low.

Ryan Adams has a pretty cool song streaming on his site.

Sleater-Kinney was supposed to be live on NPR.org, but it was cancelled due to a blown transformer at their D.C. show. Well, you know what they say about Transformers: more than meets the eye. Anyway, it could have something to do with the HEAT WAVE we're having (it was 100.6° for a high yesterday at my apartment).

This chick is HOT and has a kick ass music blog. I shouldn't quote Eddie Money, but I think I'm in love. Oh, she's probably already married to Pete Yorn's drummer or some shit.

Check out this banner week at the PNC Bank Arts Center:

Thursday, 9/14/06: Aerosmith / Motley Crue
Friday, 9/15/06: Def Leppard / Journey
Sunday, 9/17/06: SANTANA
Thursday, 9/21/06: The Who

Egads. What freaking YEAR is it?

25 YEARS AGO: WHEN THE M STOOD FOR MUSIC

Today is an auspicious day in "music" history, as it marks the 25th anniversary of the debut of MTV: Music Television. As hard as it is to believe, they showed nothing but music videos back then (!) and while everyone might know that the Buggles "Video Killed the Radio Star" was the first one ever shown on MTV, what the hell else did they show that first day? Well, I thought you'd ask, so here it is! MTV's playlist for August 1, 1981 (thanks Stereogum):

# The Buggles - Video Killed the Radio Star
# Pat Benatar - You Better Run
# Rod Stewart - She Won't Dance
# The Who - You Better You Bet
# Ph.D - Little Susie's on the Up
# Cliff Richard - We Don't Talk Anymore
# The Pretenders - Brass in Pocket
# Todd Rundgren - Time Heals
# REO Speedwagon - Take it on the Run
# Styx - Rockin' the Paradise
# Robin Lane & The Chartbusters - When Things Go Wrong
# Split Enz - History Never Repeats
# .38 Special - Hold on Loosely
# April Wine - Just Between You & Me
# Rod Stewart - Sailing
# Iron Maiden - Iron Maiden
# REO Speedwagon - Keep on Loving You
# The Pretenders - Message of Love
# Lee Ritenour - Mr. Briefcase
# The Cars - Double Life
# Phil Collins - In the Air Tonight
# Robert Palmer - (Looking for) Clues
# Shoes - Too Late
# Stevie Nicks & Tom Petty - Stop Draggin' my Heart Around
# Rupert Hines - Surface Tension
# Madness - One Step Beyond
# Gerry Rafferty - Baker Street
# Pat Benatar - I'm Gonna Follow You
# Tom Johnson - Savannah Nights
# Rockestra - Lucille
# Styx - The Best of Times
# Carly Simon - Vengeance
# Iron Maiden - Wrathchild
# Blotto - I Wanna Be a Lifeguard
# Rod Stewart - Passion
# Elvis Costello - Oliver's Army
# REO Speedwagon - Don't Let Him Go
# The Silencers - Remote Control/I'm Too Legal
# Juice Newton - Angel of the Morning
# Rockpile - Little Sister
# Bootcamp - Hold on to the Night
# Cliff Richard - Dreaming
# Lee Ritenour - Is it You?
# Fleetwood Mac - Tusk
# Michael Stanley Band - He Can't Love You
# REO Speedwagon - Tough Guys
# Blondie - Rapture
# The Who - Don't Let Go the Coat
# Rod Stewart - Ain't Love a Bitch
# The Pretenders - Talk of the Town
# Rainbow - Can't Happen Here
# Andrew Gold - Thank You for Being a Friend
# Gerry Rafferty - Bring it all Home
# April Wine - Sign of the Gypsy Queen
# Kate Bush - The Man With the Child in His Eyes
# David Bowie - Ashes to Ashes
# April Wine - Just Between You and Me
# The Specials - Rat Race
# Talking Heads - Once in a Lifetime
# Bootcamp - Victim
# Rod Stewart - Tonight's the Night
# Nick Lowe - Cruel to be Kind

Kate Bush, Michael Stanley Band, Gerry Rafferty, Juice Newton, Blotto--totally awesome! But seriously, that's a Whole Lotta Rod. Please stop the REO Speedwagon, I want to get off! And there's nothing funnier than .38 Special and their TWO drummers-I guess they didn't have the heart to fire either of them.

Unfortunately, they're not showing the VJ segments, just the videos, but it's still a pretty interesting time capsule (we didn't get cable until 1983 or so, but some of these same videos were still in heavy rotation).

Anyway, The Who just finished "You Better You Bet" (this album marks the time when I started hating them), and Bootcamp is on right now, which begs the question, "Who the fuck is Bootcamp?" (Not even Allmusic.com knows.) Meanwhile, we have Nazareth's "Holiday", leading into Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty, which is ironic since Tom just released a new album last week, and these two are playing some shows together this summer and will no doubt be dragging that song out. Does she sing "Edge of 70" on tour? Okay, that was a cheap shot.

I want my old MTV!

UPDATE: Apparently, something called MTV Overdrive is streaming the first hour, commercials and VJs intact, for broadband users. Pretty funny.

QUICK NOTES

I caught most of Decades Rock Live: Elvis Costello & Friends, and came to the conclusion that the old man can still rock. Backed by the Imposters (keyboardist Steve Nieve/drummer Pete Thomas from the original Attractions, and bassist Davey Faragher, formerly of Cracker), and joined by special guests Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong, Fiona Apple, and Death Cab for Cutie, he effectively blew away the previous VH1 Classic shows in this series (the others I've seen some of featured Heart and Cyndi Lauper). Billie Joe and Declan teamed up for excellent renditions of "Alison", "Good Riddance", "No Action", "Radio Radio", "Pump It Up", and everyone joined in for "What's So Funny 'Bout (Peace, Love, and Understanding)" and "You've Really Got A Hold On Me" (The Miracles). Excellent stuff.

The next James Bond movie, "Casino Royale", will have its theme song sung by Chris Cornell. That's a shocker.

I guess the poor review of Nacho Libre and lackluster business of King Kong sent Jack Black back to his roots, as he has reunited with Kyle Gass to make a Tenacious D movie, entitled The Pick of Destiny. The website is pretty damn stupid, so let's hope the movie is funnier. Meat Loaf plays his dad, and Dio plays himself, while Ben Stiller and Tim Robbins make cameos, so it has potential.

I watched about 5 minutes of "Rock Star: Supernova" last week, and I'm already done with it. Gee, I've always wanted to know what Radiohead's "My Iron Lung" would sound like if Thom Yorke was replaced by Melissa Etheredge! No, not really. Blech.

Speaking of, Thom Yorke's "The Eraser" is out, and as far as I know no one has sat down and listened to this entire album from start to finish AND LIVED TO TELL ABOUT IT. Listening to more than 5 tracks in a row of this depressing blip-fest, and you're ready to slit your wrists.

The Pixies have decided not to record another album together, although they're having "fun" touring (I guess).

AOL Music lets you listen to full new release CDs in their entirety here.

Box set/bonus disc CD releases are usually superfluous and cater only to the überfan. However, R.E.M. got it right with their upcoming compilation And I Feel Fine . . . The IRS Years (1982-1987), which collects the best songs from the band's most prolific and creative period, including a few live songs and rare cuts. There are several other collections out there, but this the only one you will ever need to own (unless you're fond of "Out of Time" or "Automatic for the People"). It appears that you can buy it in both single disc and 2 disc collector formats (9/12/06), and it's remastered using the new EnLoudenator 5000 technique, making it 33% louder than your old CD! A companion DVD ("When The Light Is Mine") will also be released, collecting a bunch of their early non-lip synching videos and live performances. Meanwhile, check out these early Letterman appearances from 1983.

Seminal sad synthpoppers Depeche Mode, on the other hand, have re-released their three most crucial albums, Violator (1990), Music for the Masses (1987), and Speak & Spell (1981 debut), with a couple of "who cares?" B-sides and a "you'll probably only watch it once" documentary. Another bad move: why did Rhino (domestic) remove the SACD 5.1 layer that the Mute (import) hybrid CDs included? Meh. I don't see any need to (re) purchase these. The grabbing hands grab all they can, indeed.

Closing note: "The First Cut is the Deepest" proves that Sheryl Crow knows absolutely NOTHING about golf.